The Journey Is Not Easy, But To Journey We Must!

Written by Judith Ssuubi, LLB
Ottawa based Legal Researcher and Community Engagement Worker

A couple of months ago I chanced upon the Maama Watali webinars. A close associate advised­, aggressively that I check out the webinars. We all have that person who feels they know us more than we know ourselves. That friend who somehow believes that they know what is good for us! And so, I reluctantly obliged— probably to get him to stop pestering me! Am glad, I did!

Like the name suggests, Maama Watali comes as a Mother to the Black Community, to women, sisters, daughters, aunties, and grandmas. One might be forgiven for limiting motherhood to biology! For Maama Watali, it is so much more than that! It involves birthing and raising! It is about harboring and nurturing! Motherhood is about children, dreams, communities, and nations. For, indeed, a community is as strong as its women! To put it differently, show me a functional, thriving, and progressive community, and I will show you a community of free, strong, and empowered women! 

The webinars focused on black women, black communities, and their wellbeing. And because wellbeing is far-reaching and critical, the Strong Women, Strong Men Series were a cocktail, with good portions of the spiritual, emotional, social, and physical as main ingredients.   From the wrath of global violence against women and children, the dichotomy of violence and faith, the myth of the superwoman, trying it all together, women escaping violence, the youth edition, to the community conversations and beyond, the webinars laid a generative milieu for engaging in the most profound, and pertinent, yet often dreaded conversations.

These series addressed those elements that make us unique specifics— the who that we are. I found this particularly important because unless we can look at who we really are, we can not see ourselves. The thoughtful deliberations of the panelists revealed that seeing who we really are brings a heightened awareness of all that threatens us. This awareness of what would otherwise break us, places us in a unique position; it inspires us to act more boldly, more purposefully and more courageously to better our lives. The webinars offered me the opportunity to join such healthy conversations, in a friendly and supportive virtual environment, to reflect upon my own struggles as a black woman and situate my personal story within the larger story of black women.  

The myth of the superwoman webinar, particularly stood out for me. I was reminded of the generational stories and struggles of black families around the world, their pain, loss, and grief. One might perhaps argue that society breaks not just black women, but women all together. While that would be a fair argument, it remains a half truth, and like all half truths, it is misleading; because of course society breaks us all in different ways and history is permeated with innumerable images of oppressed and marginalized women of all shades. But the plight of black women, of black families is explicit in history and in the present.

I was reminded that while it is for many a truism that a clean break, means a beginning of a new life, a better reality, it is not always the case for countless black women. For example, it is cliché that there is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself. However, when it comes to black women, this strength rubs off as arrogant, mad, angry, opinionated, pride and often crazy. When some look at black women, when they look at us, rather than see us, they see anger, loss, regret, grief, and more pain. Apparently, the emotions that would otherwise heal and sustain our relationships have been drained away, banished, and anesthetized.

The long history of domestic violence, gender-based violence, oppression, discrimination, physical and emotional abuse, racism, and all other forms of violence has inflicted deep wounds on black families—the effects of which have passed on through generations of black women. While our communities have made some attempts to right the wrongs of the past, visible scars remain! And so, when others see these scars, rather than applaud the strength that overcame the wounds, they simply frown at the sight of the scars.

It is however not all doom and gloom, not too late to mend! The journey towards building and rebuilding is on going. Maama Watali is grabbing the bull by the horns. They believe that communities can only be strengthened brick by brick, individual by individual, household by household. And while the pandemic limited physical contact, they reached out to the community through the webinar series. Through these series, the panel of experts underscored the importance of community. That building and rebuilding this broken ‘Mad’ Black Woman becomes somewhat effortless when done as a community because strength is rooted in community.

I for one was empowered! I was reminded that I have a critical role to play, and I left determined to be part of the solution. The webinars strengthened my resolve and rekindled my passion. I was reminded that it is not enough to just want to do good, but rather work towards creating sustainable impact. This is exactly what Maama Watali is about! Mothering and creating sustainable impact in the lives of our children, our youth, our seniors and the community as a whole. Most importantly I was reminded that I am not alone in my struggles, that black women like myself can heal, that we can stand out, and that there is beauty in our brokenness.

I have resolved to do more and be more! To embrace cooperation over division! To choose hope over fear! To adopt optimism over cynicism! To take responsibility for myself and my community! To lend my gifts and skills to the service of my community! And while the journey is not easy, to journey we must, because the alternative is insufferable!